


Morning, Mr. Miles

by Potato (nerdclubcosplay)



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Assassin's Creed - Freeform, Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed III, Assassin's Creed crack, Crack, Just Desmond and Shaun being assholes, Lucy and Rebecca are just memes, M/M, The Animus is watching from the corner like "hAH, They aren't married, gayyyy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 08:56:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdclubcosplay/pseuds/Potato
Summary: Shaun does not, I repeat, DOES NOT, like Desmond. Lucy and Rebecca believe otherwise and Desmond lives on the couch like the bum he is.





	Morning, Mr. Miles

     Shaun was already in a foul mood when he woke up, even more foul than usual. He didn’t get to sleep until five in the morning, and then Rebecca decided he just had to be the one to run errands. He grimaced in irritation as he watched yet another asshole cut him off on the freeway. It was nine in the morning, all the 9-5 suburban white dads should have already been off the road. This morning was not going his way at all.

  
     In the store, he got weird stares, and it wasn’t until he was picking up his fifth can of soup that he realized he was still in his pajamas. Apparently, people in America didn’t wear matching pajamas. It wasn’t like they had some embarrassing pattern on them, like Desmond’s weed underwear, but it was odd considering that it was a decent hour of the morning and most people were out of their pajamas by then.

  
     With a scowl, he picked up some of Desmond’s favorite microwave dinners. He was going to hold them over his head to get him to cooperate. That didn’t make it any less embarrassing at checkout when he realized he looked like he was some lonely man gearing up to stay in his apartment for a year or so after a breakup. It wasn’t his fault that Desmond gave him a massive headache that could only be solved with a pint of ice cream and a handful of Advil.

  
     When he returned to the hideout, he could hear that everyone else was awake. Apparently, Rebecca hadn’t woken them up early for their duties, just him. Shaun clutched the receipt in his hand tighter, trying to maintain his composure.

  
     “Groceries are in the car. No, Desmond, you cannot have the lasagnas until after you help me fix the stuff you broke.”

  
     The black-haired man grumbled something incomprehensible and buried his face in the arm of the couch. Shaun sighed and went to look for something to prod him with. While he was poking around, Lucy emerged from her room.

  
     “Having hubby troubles, Mr. Miles?” she asked.

  
     It was a while before Shaun realized that Lucy had been talking to him, not Desmond, and he frowned.

  
     “Are you suggesting that I am… Fond of Desmond in any way?”

  
     Lucy snickered and waved her hand dismissively, as if dropping the subject. Now fuming, Shaun went to go get the groceries himself. When he got back in, carrying all six bags, Rebecca and Lucy were sitting on the couch that Desmond wasn’t hogging, whispering.

  
     “Welcome back, Mr. Miles,” Rebecca said with a smirk.

  
     Desmond poked his head up from the other couch to interject. “Actually, I'm Mr. Hastings over here, he didn’t want to take my name because it was 'Too American'.”

  
     “We are not married!”

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a good year since I've posted any fanfiction and this is my first time on AO3, so my apologies if this is trash. I might write more stuff, I dunno, college is a thing, and I've got plenty to write already...


End file.
